Today Mary and I volunteered to work at a local Habitat for Humanity house. We got there at 8 am this morning. We were to be on the painting crew.
First we met the other volunteers, and had our assignments. First off Mary and I were on cleanup of the outside of the house, as the Wednesday crew was dealing with snow, and didn't get it tidied up. So we worked for about 40 minutes picking up bits and pieces, and then scattering straw on the muddy bits.
Mary then found the "tool shed" that needed neatening up. She spent the next while doing that, while I went on doing this and that.
I wound up doing lots of little things, prepping for painting. Caulking doors and windows. Then I grabbed the big roller, and painted the kitchen/dining room/living room ceiling. That was fun. By then it was lunch time, and we had a nice lunch, all the while talking with the other volunteers.
After lunch, we were painting the trim and doors. We had plenty to do, and worked the rest of the afternoon on that. Both Mary and I were about wiped out, and left a little early. We didn't want to over do it.
So it was a productive and worthwhile day.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Environmental Small Steps - continue
I had sent my Environmental Small Steps to the Quakers, and had it published in their March newsletter. That was cool. I also had a Friend ask me to forward it on to her, so that the local Sierra Club could publish it also. That would make a much wider audience that has been able to see the small things that we've done here.
We don't hand wash our laundry, and we don't cut back to the point where we are causing hardships to ourselves, but we have made many steps to making the world a better place. Now if we could just get more people to realize that these steps are easy and sometimes fun to make... But that will come. I'm sure that not everyone will take the environmental steps, but more and more people will. As the cost of fuels goes up, conservation will happen, but it will have to get to a point where it hurts the wallet not to conserve. That is the key to the whole thing, I believe, make it sexy to conserve. When that happens, America and the rest of the world will go along. Until that day, I'm satisfied to make each day a little lighter on our Mother.
We don't hand wash our laundry, and we don't cut back to the point where we are causing hardships to ourselves, but we have made many steps to making the world a better place. Now if we could just get more people to realize that these steps are easy and sometimes fun to make... But that will come. I'm sure that not everyone will take the environmental steps, but more and more people will. As the cost of fuels goes up, conservation will happen, but it will have to get to a point where it hurts the wallet not to conserve. That is the key to the whole thing, I believe, make it sexy to conserve. When that happens, America and the rest of the world will go along. Until that day, I'm satisfied to make each day a little lighter on our Mother.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
A challenge accepted:
It must be difficult being a 14 year-old girl.
Miriam refused to do the dishes. Mary asked her to do them, but it was a nice day on Friday, the "first nice day", said Miriam. Miriam wanted to go outside and go to a friend's house, but had kept on telling us that she would get the dishes done. The problem was that Miriam would be going to her Dad's house in less than 2 hours, and if she didn't get the dishes done, Mary and I would be stuck doing the dishes, again. She balked. She screamed, cried, and protested.
Mary calmly explained the facts: If she didn't get the dishes done, there would be consequences. Mary said that if the dishes weren't done by the time Miriam was to leave for her Dad's house, then we would clean her room for her, and she wouldn't like what happens if we clean her room.
That was a huge consequence. Mary and I thought that we could clean up Miriam's room in a couple of hours, no big deal.
So Miriam kept on protesting, saying that she needed 5 minutes to get a hold of herself, and continued to cry. Mary called Miriam's step-mother, Shannon, and explained the situation, and they agreed that Miriam could stay here longer to get the dishes done.
After the deadline of 6 pm, which is when Miriam should have left for the other household, Mary and I began the arduous task of cleaning the girl's bedroom. Miriam did not stay in the house, and went outside to "get a hold of herself." Long story short, by 9 pm, dishes still weren't done, and we drove Miriam over to her Dad's house.
Mary and I continued to clean the room. It turned into a weekend project. We found 12 boxes of books, more clothes than 4 girls need, and trash strewn about the room. Miriam had also stashes of candy and food hidden in her room, and that provides a health hazard. I took it upon myself to get her laundry cleaned. 9 loads of laundry. Mary and I finished up about 3:30 Sunday. It was not the easiest thing to do, since we had to figure out places to put all of the stuff. We took out several bags of paper for recycling, and many more trash bags. Other items are stored either in the crawlspace or the attic.
What Miriam is going to have to deal with tonight when she comes home is a "shopping" trip. Mary has folded and sorted all of the clothes taken out of Miriam's room. She will be allowed to choose 10 tops, 10 bottoms, 10 bras/camisoles, 10 pairs of socks, 10 panties, 4 sweaters/sweatshirts, 2 dresses, 1 heavy coat, 1 jacket, concert shirt, PE uniforms, and 2 swimsuits. There will be additional shopping if she handles the first section well: She will be able to pick more, 10 tops, 5 bottoms, and another swimsuit and dress to be earned back by keeping the first batch neat. This will allow Miriam to learn to keep her room clean, without all of the clutter that was stopping her before.
So Miriam has the opportunity to earn some of her clothes back, as well as adding a few of the "most precious" items that have been removed. Since Mary and I don't know what those items are, Miriam will be able to earn a few items back every 2 weeks that she keeps her room clean. But if she leaves the house with "gear adrift" as they say in the Navy, she will lose that gear, and not get to earn it back.
Mary and I will not allow the kind of mess that her room became to happen again. Neither of us has the time or energy to clean that room again like we did this time. So if there is clutter, messiness and "gear adrift" on the floor, then it will go away, and Miriam won't have to worry about having too much stuff.
So I'm sure this particular parenting adventure will be the subject of many books in Miriam's writing future. If nothing else, she will have ample things to talk with her psychiatrist about when she is in her 30's.
Miriam refused to do the dishes. Mary asked her to do them, but it was a nice day on Friday, the "first nice day", said Miriam. Miriam wanted to go outside and go to a friend's house, but had kept on telling us that she would get the dishes done. The problem was that Miriam would be going to her Dad's house in less than 2 hours, and if she didn't get the dishes done, Mary and I would be stuck doing the dishes, again. She balked. She screamed, cried, and protested.
Mary calmly explained the facts: If she didn't get the dishes done, there would be consequences. Mary said that if the dishes weren't done by the time Miriam was to leave for her Dad's house, then we would clean her room for her, and she wouldn't like what happens if we clean her room.
That was a huge consequence. Mary and I thought that we could clean up Miriam's room in a couple of hours, no big deal.
So Miriam kept on protesting, saying that she needed 5 minutes to get a hold of herself, and continued to cry. Mary called Miriam's step-mother, Shannon, and explained the situation, and they agreed that Miriam could stay here longer to get the dishes done.
After the deadline of 6 pm, which is when Miriam should have left for the other household, Mary and I began the arduous task of cleaning the girl's bedroom. Miriam did not stay in the house, and went outside to "get a hold of herself." Long story short, by 9 pm, dishes still weren't done, and we drove Miriam over to her Dad's house.
Mary and I continued to clean the room. It turned into a weekend project. We found 12 boxes of books, more clothes than 4 girls need, and trash strewn about the room. Miriam had also stashes of candy and food hidden in her room, and that provides a health hazard. I took it upon myself to get her laundry cleaned. 9 loads of laundry. Mary and I finished up about 3:30 Sunday. It was not the easiest thing to do, since we had to figure out places to put all of the stuff. We took out several bags of paper for recycling, and many more trash bags. Other items are stored either in the crawlspace or the attic.
What Miriam is going to have to deal with tonight when she comes home is a "shopping" trip. Mary has folded and sorted all of the clothes taken out of Miriam's room. She will be allowed to choose 10 tops, 10 bottoms, 10 bras/camisoles, 10 pairs of socks, 10 panties, 4 sweaters/sweatshirts, 2 dresses, 1 heavy coat, 1 jacket, concert shirt, PE uniforms, and 2 swimsuits. There will be additional shopping if she handles the first section well: She will be able to pick more, 10 tops, 5 bottoms, and another swimsuit and dress to be earned back by keeping the first batch neat. This will allow Miriam to learn to keep her room clean, without all of the clutter that was stopping her before.
So Miriam has the opportunity to earn some of her clothes back, as well as adding a few of the "most precious" items that have been removed. Since Mary and I don't know what those items are, Miriam will be able to earn a few items back every 2 weeks that she keeps her room clean. But if she leaves the house with "gear adrift" as they say in the Navy, she will lose that gear, and not get to earn it back.
Mary and I will not allow the kind of mess that her room became to happen again. Neither of us has the time or energy to clean that room again like we did this time. So if there is clutter, messiness and "gear adrift" on the floor, then it will go away, and Miriam won't have to worry about having too much stuff.
So I'm sure this particular parenting adventure will be the subject of many books in Miriam's writing future. If nothing else, she will have ample things to talk with her psychiatrist about when she is in her 30's.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Weekend Update:
Mary and I had an enjoyable day yesterday... er, wait. I had an enjoyable day yesterday, working outside, cutting down the ornamental grasses, and getting them up to the compost pile, taking out the big bush that will be replaced this spring by a Fig tree, and generally playing outside. Meanwhile my beautiful wife was doing taxes! Not really fun for her, but she wanted to do it, and I sure do appreciate her for doing it. The best way to support Mary while she is doing taxes is to bring her a cup of tea once in a while, but basically keep away from her and don't distract her.
I also swept up the wood chips that we laid down during the ice storm. Because, they were calling for more ice on Sunday. But we were lucky, we got 3-4 inches of snow! It is absolutely beautiful. After the taxes were done, Mary and I worked on plans for a trellis for the kiwi vines we are wanting to plant. It will take some doing, so planning is essential.
Mary cleaned off the car, and shoveled the driveway while I was baking fat-free corn chips. I went out after I was done, and cleaned off my car, and shoveled it out, and cleaned up the little bit of snow that had collected after Mary had finished. Anyway we got that done.
Tori came over today, and she was the proud recipient of a new rice cooker! She had been wanting one, and Mary and I got out about a week ago and picked one up for her. She seemed very pleased and surprised that we had got that for her. Happy Valentine's Day! (Family joke.)
The funny thing was, I had hidden it in plain sight, and she missed it when she came through the front door.
Mary is talking with Eliza in Hungary. Eliza seems to be doing well, and enjoying herself.
I finished 2 books this weekend. The first was Sidney Poitier's The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography and the second was Hunters of Dune, the seventh installment in Frank Herbert's classic Dune series. And for following those I'm reading Dr. Esselstyn's book Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease. That last one is the most interesting of all! He details how to prevent and even better, REVERSE heart disease!
That is the news I have for now.
I also swept up the wood chips that we laid down during the ice storm. Because, they were calling for more ice on Sunday. But we were lucky, we got 3-4 inches of snow! It is absolutely beautiful. After the taxes were done, Mary and I worked on plans for a trellis for the kiwi vines we are wanting to plant. It will take some doing, so planning is essential.
Mary cleaned off the car, and shoveled the driveway while I was baking fat-free corn chips. I went out after I was done, and cleaned off my car, and shoveled it out, and cleaned up the little bit of snow that had collected after Mary had finished. Anyway we got that done.
Tori came over today, and she was the proud recipient of a new rice cooker! She had been wanting one, and Mary and I got out about a week ago and picked one up for her. She seemed very pleased and surprised that we had got that for her. Happy Valentine's Day! (Family joke.)
The funny thing was, I had hidden it in plain sight, and she missed it when she came through the front door.
Mary is talking with Eliza in Hungary. Eliza seems to be doing well, and enjoying herself.
I finished 2 books this weekend. The first was Sidney Poitier's The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography and the second was Hunters of Dune, the seventh installment in Frank Herbert's classic Dune series. And for following those I'm reading Dr. Esselstyn's book Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease. That last one is the most interesting of all! He details how to prevent and even better, REVERSE heart disease!
That is the news I have for now.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Taking care of neighbors
So the winter storm knocked several limbs down out of the trees. Our neighbors up the street are elderly, and he has a heart condition and can't work like he used to. So I mustered up the kids on Saturday morning, and we got a great deal of the limbs cut into firewood lengths and picked up. There was more to do after our initial 2 hours of work on Saturday, we had some more to do, so went back on Monday (kids and I had Presidents Day off.) We got it all done, and I brought the firewood back here and stacked it up. (They don't build fires anymore, and said we could have all we could carry!) Paul and Nancy were very surprised that we would do something like that for them without being asked.
Snow is melting now and we guess that the groundhog might have been right!
Snow is melting now and we guess that the groundhog might have been right!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Snow, Ice, Freezing Rain!
We had it all. And then the winds came. We lost power yesterday, Valentine's Day, at about 8:12. Miriam told us it was 8:12 when her radio stopped radio-ing. Anyway, I got up (I was already excused from work due to the freezing rain) and started a fire in the fireplace. I was determined to keep us from freezing to death for however long it took, or until we ran out of firewood.
We had a lovely Valentine's Day. More on that later. Anyway we played games with the kids, read books, and generally enjoyed each other's company. All the while keeping the fire roaring along. Mary and I went for a walk around the neighborhood, just as the temperature fell down below freezing yesterday evening. We found several downed trees and such around the neighborhood, but mostly just branches and small stuff Most of the largest trees were taken down last winter, and I guess there weren't many ready to come down this winter. We looked in on a few of our elderly neighbors, and made sure that they had things under control. The kids made S'mores over the fire.
The kids slept in the living room, on our lovely Persian rug in their sleeping bags. Unfortunately the kids let the fire go out during the night, and it was very chilly this morning. I got up and got the fire started, but we had lost ground during the night. It never really got up above chilly all day. We were wearing many layers of clothes and the wonderful knit caps that Mom made for all of us. We bundled up, and stayed warm.
Work was delayed by 4 hours today, and I went in around 10:30. I had made soup before I went in, and it was finished when I got home.
BG&E had the power restored by about 5:45. That made for a long time without power. Each time something like this happens, it only makes me more determined to be self sufficient on the energy front, at least the household things like heat, power, and hot water.
We were very lucky, none of our trees lost any big branches, and the garden is safely put to bed under the snow and ice. I will have to take the tiger grass down, and toss it on the compost heap after the snow melts.
About Valentine's Day surprise:
Last weekend, when Mary went on her retreat, I had lots of time to plan my gifts for Mary. Mary had enjoyed the peanut butter fudge I made for Christmas, so I had an idea. Peanut Butter Cups! But better, VEGAN peanut butter cups. So I took semi-sweet vegan chocolate, melted in a bag in the microwave, and set about making peanut butter cups. I was quite proud of how they turned out, and then set off to get a box to make a beautiful presentation to Mary on Valentine's Day. I didn't have any idea that we wouldn't have power for most of it! Anyway, I also made a compilation CD of several love songs that she can listen to when she gets the chance. The funny story is that I could barely wait to give all of this to Mary. I had a really hard time keeping it hidden and not mentioning anything to her. So Tuesday night, I asked her if she wanted her Valentine's Day gift before I left for work, or after I got home. She didn't answer me then. So when my alarm went off, I had called in to work and found out that I didn't have to go in due to the weather, I told Mary I couldn't stand it anymore, so I hopped out of bed, and went and got her the presents. I think she liked them! It was kinda hard to tell, since it was about 5:30 in the morning, and Mary was still sleepy! She said she loves them, and me! Life is good!
We had a lovely Valentine's Day. More on that later. Anyway we played games with the kids, read books, and generally enjoyed each other's company. All the while keeping the fire roaring along. Mary and I went for a walk around the neighborhood, just as the temperature fell down below freezing yesterday evening. We found several downed trees and such around the neighborhood, but mostly just branches and small stuff Most of the largest trees were taken down last winter, and I guess there weren't many ready to come down this winter. We looked in on a few of our elderly neighbors, and made sure that they had things under control. The kids made S'mores over the fire.
The kids slept in the living room, on our lovely Persian rug in their sleeping bags. Unfortunately the kids let the fire go out during the night, and it was very chilly this morning. I got up and got the fire started, but we had lost ground during the night. It never really got up above chilly all day. We were wearing many layers of clothes and the wonderful knit caps that Mom made for all of us. We bundled up, and stayed warm.
Work was delayed by 4 hours today, and I went in around 10:30. I had made soup before I went in, and it was finished when I got home.
BG&E had the power restored by about 5:45. That made for a long time without power. Each time something like this happens, it only makes me more determined to be self sufficient on the energy front, at least the household things like heat, power, and hot water.
We were very lucky, none of our trees lost any big branches, and the garden is safely put to bed under the snow and ice. I will have to take the tiger grass down, and toss it on the compost heap after the snow melts.
About Valentine's Day surprise:
Last weekend, when Mary went on her retreat, I had lots of time to plan my gifts for Mary. Mary had enjoyed the peanut butter fudge I made for Christmas, so I had an idea. Peanut Butter Cups! But better, VEGAN peanut butter cups. So I took semi-sweet vegan chocolate, melted in a bag in the microwave, and set about making peanut butter cups. I was quite proud of how they turned out, and then set off to get a box to make a beautiful presentation to Mary on Valentine's Day. I didn't have any idea that we wouldn't have power for most of it! Anyway, I also made a compilation CD of several love songs that she can listen to when she gets the chance. The funny story is that I could barely wait to give all of this to Mary. I had a really hard time keeping it hidden and not mentioning anything to her. So Tuesday night, I asked her if she wanted her Valentine's Day gift before I left for work, or after I got home. She didn't answer me then. So when my alarm went off, I had called in to work and found out that I didn't have to go in due to the weather, I told Mary I couldn't stand it anymore, so I hopped out of bed, and went and got her the presents. I think she liked them! It was kinda hard to tell, since it was about 5:30 in the morning, and Mary was still sleepy! She said she loves them, and me! Life is good!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Weekend to Myself
The kids are gone to their other parent's houses. Mary took a weekend religious retreat with Friends, which left me alone to my own devices.
It isn't often that I have so much free time to myself. I remember solitude from my single days, but with a family now that has 5 kids, a beautiful wife, and all of the circle of friends, coworkers, and relations, I really don't get large chunks of alone time. So what did I do?
I watched a few movies that a friend loaned me at work. I took long bath. I went shopping up at the Asian food store, I washed dishes, I finished the book I was reading. I slept in. I stayed up late. I did whatever struck me as interesting at the time. I went to meeting today. I went to Whole Foods to get some Dr. Bronner's Soap and took my time shopping for other stuff, and just checking out the rest of the store, not worrying about how long it takes.
I also have taken some time to just meditate.
What I've learned recently in meditation - I often reflect on my relationship with Kyle, as that is the point of most of my Samsara (suffering) lately. So I have been trying to come to terms with what Kyle is choosing in his life, mainly to distance himself from me and my family here. He choses to spend his time with his mother's family. Anyway, the suffering I've been enduring, while painful, hasn't killed me. So I meditate on it, and try to figure out what to do. Asking the Universe of an answer has brought me this: Letting Kyle go to do what he needs to be happy. Holding Kyle too tightly is the sure way to have him not want to stay. I found this in a meditation site that I view on occasion.
The Difference between Love and Attachment
Tenzin Palmo told a story about her mother's love
as an example of a love that does not bind.
Something like that is what I'm hoping to give to Kyle. I love him dearly, but will let him go, to let him be happy.
Today's Meeting concentrated on this attachment theme, even though it isn't really a Quaker teaching. So it was interesting to hear their take on it.
It isn't often that I have so much free time to myself. I remember solitude from my single days, but with a family now that has 5 kids, a beautiful wife, and all of the circle of friends, coworkers, and relations, I really don't get large chunks of alone time. So what did I do?
I watched a few movies that a friend loaned me at work. I took long bath. I went shopping up at the Asian food store, I washed dishes, I finished the book I was reading. I slept in. I stayed up late. I did whatever struck me as interesting at the time. I went to meeting today. I went to Whole Foods to get some Dr. Bronner's Soap and took my time shopping for other stuff, and just checking out the rest of the store, not worrying about how long it takes.
I also have taken some time to just meditate.
What I've learned recently in meditation - I often reflect on my relationship with Kyle, as that is the point of most of my Samsara (suffering) lately. So I have been trying to come to terms with what Kyle is choosing in his life, mainly to distance himself from me and my family here. He choses to spend his time with his mother's family. Anyway, the suffering I've been enduring, while painful, hasn't killed me. So I meditate on it, and try to figure out what to do. Asking the Universe of an answer has brought me this: Letting Kyle go to do what he needs to be happy. Holding Kyle too tightly is the sure way to have him not want to stay. I found this in a meditation site that I view on occasion.
The Difference between Love and Attachment
Tenzin Palmo told a story about her mother's love
as an example of a love that does not bind.
"When I was 19 years old, I wanted to go to India to find a spiritual teacher.
Finally, I got an invitation letter.
I remember running along the road to meet my mother
as she was coming from work and saying to her 'I'm going to India!'
And she replied 'Oh yes dear, when are you leaving?'
Because she loved me, she was happy for me to leave her."
She went on to explain the moral of the story.
"We mistake love and attachment.
We think they are the same thing, but actually, they are opposites.
Love is 'I want you to be happy.'
Attachment is 'I want you to make me happy."'...
Something like that is what I'm hoping to give to Kyle. I love him dearly, but will let him go, to let him be happy.
Today's Meeting concentrated on this attachment theme, even though it isn't really a Quaker teaching. So it was interesting to hear their take on it.
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